The Common Spird

is a medium-sized Prasserine bird and member of the family Icteridae.  Its colors vary from bright orange and purple with black patterning on the marginal coverts to sparkling indigo with silver flecks at the tip of its primary feathers.  It is known to emit an odor similar to that of peanut butter in moments of distress. 

The song of the spird begins with a series of rhythmic and percussive peeps, similar to those of the stork.  These are followed by soft winnowing, thought to attract mates.  The discordant  sound has been described by those who live among the species as resembling the auditory quality of one with mild sleep apnea. 

The spird can be found in Northwestern Florida, with concentrations in and around the Tampa Bay area.  Much like its cousin the shit grackle, the species has flight patterns that do not reach much higher than two to three feet above the ground.  It is commonly observed hovering near the recreation centers of retirement communities.

The spird subsists on a diet comprised primarily of afternoon margaritas and Metamucil.  It is speculated that the swelling of psyllium husks in the latter contributes to the bird's swollen belly, which in turn, interrupts the pattern of wing beats per minute and may contribute to relatively short and low flying distances.  In some public spaces, it is considered a pest, dragging its distended gut across shuffle board courts and mini golf courses such that scoring becomes difficult with the disruption of the game pieces.

Spirds are primarily a monogamous species, though on some occasions the female has been known to take on more than one mate at a time.  As part of its mating ritual, the male spird will build a nest of golf tees and wig fibers, then sing to female passersby, changing the color of his plume and repeating a popping gurglecall in rhythm with intermittent flights.  These displays occur mostly in early March and can be another source of animosity among its human neighbors. 

While troublesome to the participants of certain outdoor activities, the spird is celebrated among  members of yoga and wellness communities for the spiritual value of their polychromatic feathers and the claimed calming effects of a drink prepared with its droppings.

Though otherwise diurnal, on evenings when the moon is full the spird has been known to perform a variation of its mating "dance", in which both the male and female change the color of their feathers and fly inverted in figure eight patterns above the reflective waters of shallow swimming pools.