Let's Have More Sex! (A Semi-Political Manifesto)

I sit here and listen to Obama address the United Nations.  "Peace is more than just the absence of war." 

For a decade I have been obsessing about my body.  I have been creating meaning outside myself to such a degree, that I limit the broad possibilities of experience available to me.  The world is my oyster and, yet I create conditions for my own enjoyment of it.  I want to feel the sweetness of human connection and I tell myself I am undeserving of that pleasure unless I look a certain way, unless I have some level of fame proving my value, unless… 

I arrived in North Carolina yesterday, here to visit wonderful friends.  They live near the beach and one of the first things I did upon arriving was to swim in the ocean.  I skipped down to the warm water at sunset.  Despite my insecurities, I let my arms reach for the sky and flipped along the smooth sand.  What a delight, this physical form.  As much as I resist self love and acceptance, it is moments like this that remind me how lucky I am to exist in a body.  

The North Carolina shoreline is speckled with people who clearly disapprove of my blatant display of physical sovereignty.  They mirror my own self judgement and looking into their puckered faces, I am grateful for their reflection of the crotchety bigots in me.  By extending a hand, a wave and a loving smile, I choose to accept them rather than let them dictate my actions.  I glimpse freedom.

This is all very good and philosophical, but it is in the application of this experience that really intrigues me.  Last night I shared a brilliant conversation with my hosts.  We talked mostly about sex.  The both of them, roughly 30 years my senior, expressed regrets at having not explored the cornucopia of sexual experience available to them when they were young (like me).

Now, I do not think that their own sexual exploits need be finished because of the limitations of age, but I did hear the sage advice.  Those voices inside me forever nagging me about my perceived faults, prevent me from creating the experiences I want. 

I have had some amazing sexual experiences.  And I want more.  The transcendence of these derogatory voices removes the barricade from the extensive buffet of sexual enjoyment.  Sex is just one example of experiences we limit, but it is an important one because it is such a potential celebration of our bodies.  But moving beyond judgment requires one more step.  Now that we have access to the feast, we have to start somewhere.  We must have the courage to try new things, discover what we like and what we don't (without judging the latter). 

Driving along highway 20, I unbuckle my belt and jeans, reach a hand down my pants and turn up Tom Waits.  Caressing my pussy, moving in circular motions along the sensitive jewel, I shudder and giggle.  I am merry playing with myself, laying my fingers along the soft edges of my lower lips and reaching a happy finger inside.  I want more of this.  Pure pleasure.

Obama says again, "Peace is not more than just the absence of war.  True peace depends on creating the opportunites that make life worth living."